This graduation piece was built around a selection of songs that are dear to me. I listen to them and sing them in my room, in the shower, when I wake up. In these moments of intimacy, I am present to myself and feel my body and emotions. I consider this selection as an archive of emotions or a bibliography of memories link to my presence.

My will is to explore this publicly. During the piece I warm up my voice, sing, dance, whistle, snap my fingers, hum. All of those actions in search of this state of presence to myself. Performing becomes an act of repeating life, of feeling my emotions, of connecting to my body, performing as being present in the here and now. It’s also finding security in insecurity by using this archive of emotions, by activating it through my body.

My singing teacher told me about my difficulty in finding openness and fluidity in the transition from my chest voice to my head voice, on the note F, that it was probably related to a difficulty in shouting and expressing my emotions as a child. To sing high you need a lot of pressure, the same as when you shout. And for voices like mine the head voice is related to the voice we used as children.

Working around the fact that the notion of perfection has no place in my work because it alienates me - because it’s a trauma response. The complexity of my being cannot be reduced to an expertise or a result. It is found in the abundance of life and in the abandonment of control. This piece is a goodbye to certain parts of myself and a welcome to new ones.