Why I Never Became An Artist (2021) is an autobiographical video essay in reference to Tracey Emin's work Why I Never Became a Dancer (1995). The visual material and snippets are collected throughout the creative process in the making of this piece and constitute the video ensemble. This work takes us on a journey of euphoria and anxiety, depression and self-help, self-presentation and self-empowerment using behind the scenes footage, meditative ASMR sound pieces, original pop songs and their music videos, as well as a short interview discussing the very subject. Why I Never Became an Artist deals with questions of vulnerability and exposure, the pressure of success and self-imposed hardcore productivity mixed with an "ambitious" lifestyle. All in all, this video work explores losing yourself and finding yourself again in a constant perpetual loop, in a cycle similar to the one of artistic creation.